I never really talk about my feelings on the net much anymore, as I feel like they are silly to others and often misunderstood. Today was a hard day, I am working on a piece in remembrance of my almost 19 year old cat who pasted away a year ago this Oct 18th.
Off and on I have been trying to work on it but get distracted or choose to do something else. I think it is subconscious, but today I had to go through some pictures of him and I just started crying and a lot. It's still hard because he was really close to me and always in my life. I had him at a certain time in my life from when I was 10 till I was 28, that's a lot of time. I think what makes it worse is that he passed away with a terminal illness, a tumor in his liver, which he was diagnosed a year and a half before he past. It was hard to see him like that but I do not believe in just euthanizing when they can eat and walk around and enjoy there favorite sunny spot on the window bed. I did everything I could every day to make him happy and comfortable that whole time. I am just so sorry he had to go that way.
I am trying to get it done and ready for the 18th, I feel a little bit better after letting out some emotions but it is still something that makes me very sad. This piece means a lot to me so I am trying to put my emotions into it to express the kind of love and connection we shared. He was the best thing that happened in my life. Find it funny or not but he was.
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